Behind These Green Eyes
by Eli's Girl
Summary: <html><head></head>Eli has hid his real self from the world his entire life, but when he finds a new object of affection, the walls he's built up are bound to come crumbling down, and not everyone is ready for the real Eli. Rated T for language and sexual content.  to come</html>
1. Chapter 1

One: The Attraction

**Eli's POV**

_It wasn't meant to happen. I never even thought it would. But it somehow has. I like Fitz. Why? Why would I have feelings for a __**guy**__, let alone a guy who nearly stabbed me and tried to sleep with my girlfriend? No. I don't like Fitz and I'm not gay. I like girls. I like Clare._

"Eli! Damn, where is your head?" Adam was shouting at me in English. I had apparently been daydreaming. More like daynightmare-ing.

"Nowhere. Just, uh, just thinking about things." I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear those disturbing thoughts from my head.

The bell rang, and I met Clare outside class. "Hey, Eli," she said cheerfully.

I wasted no time and kissed her fiercely.

"Whoa, Eli, who put lead in your pencil?" she said, looking me up and down.

"Just happy to see you, that's all."

She laughed. "That much is clear."

We walked down the hallway together, like a normal couple. We probably look so unassuming, so average. Like any other high school puppy love. But I can't seem to shake the thought of seeing Fitz, his face, his eyes, those muscles...

**Clare's POV**

Something's very wrong with Eli. Ever since we saw Fitz after he got out of jail, he's been weird. Not overprotective, like I thought he would be, but more aggressive sexually, like he's trying to keep me interested or... like he's trying to stay interested in me.

But that's insane. Eli isn't _gay_, especially not for Fitz. Why am I even thinking that? That's just so crazy. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe I should just ask him what's bothering him. That's what she should do.

**Narrator POV**

Clare approached Eli that afternoon with intent. She had to find out what was bothering him, because she couldn't stand him like this.

"Hey, Clare," he said, kissing her firmly on the mouth.

"Hey, Eli. Listen, we need to talk."

His grin visibly dropped. "Oh no. That's never good."

"It's nothing bad. I'm just a little worried about you. Lately, particularly since Fitz got out of jail, you've been... pushy."

His brows furrowed. "Pushy?"

"Yeah... like you're kind of lusting after me."

He scoffed. "Lusting after you? Clare, I'm not a pig. I thought you knew that."

"And I do. I just can't help but think that maybe there's something that you're not telling me, that's all."

"Well, there isn't anything, okay?" he said, on the brink of shouting. "Nothing's going on with me and I am not gay!"

Clare faltered. "Wha- Eli, I didn't-"

His eyes widened. He rounded on the heel of his foot and walked briskly away toward Morty. He had just outed himself to Clare and he knew it. Wait, there was no 'outing' needed, because he wasn't gay. He just misspoke, that's all.

His phone buzzed, signaling a text message.

**From: Adam T.**

**Dude, we need to talk. Meet me The Dot in 10.**

**Sent: 3:04 PM**

**Received: 3:05 PM**

_Great. Clare already told him_, he thought to himself.

He started off toward The Dot, not exactly knowing what to expect. What exactly had she told him? Did she even mention the 'gay' comment?

When he got there, he opened the door to see Fitz working the counter, and he felt a cold flush cover him. He took a deep breath and shook it off, ignoring the thoughts churning in his head.

"Eli," Adam said, gesturing for him to sit opposite him. He did so, fidgeting slightly with his collar. "Listen, Clare told me that you two got into it. So what's up?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong, okay?" he said, his pitch rising an octave.

Adam raised his eyebrows. "It sounds like it. Whatever's eating you, it's becoming a problem for all of us, and the faster you admit it, the better off you'll be and the better off we'll all be."

He stood up and walked off, leaving Eli sitting at the table alone. He kicked himself mentally, because he tried fighting the problem with aggression and denial. He had been fighting this feeling his entire life, and it's already destroyed past relationships. Most people didn't know that the last fight between he and Julia was about her catching him kissing a... guy. She had been so hurt, and Eli felt like a terrible person for it. He swore to himself that he would try dating girls, and maybe, just maybe, it would turn him straight.

But who was he fooling? It was clear to everyone that something was wrong, but they didn't know what exactly. How would he break the news to everyone? To Clare?

He snapped out of his reverie, and pulled out his phone and sent a message to Clare.

**(New Message)**

**To: Clare E.**

**Hey. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you lately. Meet me The Dot. I have something to tell you that might explain it.**

**Sent: 3:24 PM**

He took a deep breath. It was now or never. He had to explain things to Clare, and hope that she wouldn't hate him and that she would understand.

**What do you think? Should I keep going? I am kind of excited about this one, cuz it's so different from the real show, but I need some feedback first, to see if there's anything to it. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Two: The Flirtation

Eli shifted uncomfortably on the chair, not exactly sure how to approach the topic with her. He knew that this was going to be awkward.

_So, Clare, the reason why I've been so eager to 'cop-a-feel' lately is because I've been fighting the painful reality that I'm gay._ Yeah, that was going to go over so well.

"Eli."

He turned to see Clare approaching him, her face struck by the expression of worry. "Hey, Clare.

She sat opposite him and entwined her fingers. "What's going on, Eli?"

He sighed and looked her in the eyes. "Clare, I haven't been... well, entirely honest with you."

Her eyes widened. "Are you cheating on me?"

"No, no, nothing like that. But, I do need to come clean about something. I'm..."

She jutted her neck forward. "What? You're what?"

He took a shuddering breath. "I'm... I'm not exactly... _straight_."

She blinked and gulped. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Clare, I'm," he lowered his voice so as not attract attention to himself, "I'm gay, okay? I've tried dating girls, and you are the most amazing girl on the face of this earth. If you can't make me straight, then I must really be... gay."

She exhaled loudly and fell back in her chair, grabbing a chunk of hair and releasing it. "Eli, I.. I don't really have anything to say to that. Are-are you sure?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I am."

She leaned in. "Have you, um, always known?"

He laughed once. "I guess I did, but I just didn't want to believe it. I wanted to be able to give my parents grandkids, and that's just... not gonna happen."

"Eli, it wouldn't make any difference pretending to be straight anyway. You would never find a girl that you would be entirely happy with. Have you thought about... coming out?"

He scoffed. "Whoa, Clare, let's not get ahead of ourselves here."

She rolled her eyes. "Eli... You know what, you're right. I'm not gonna push you. You should tell people when your ready."

He lifted his hands. "Thank you."

She smirked slightly.

Eli laughed. "What?"

"You only started acting weird when Fitz got out of jail. Are you crushing on the bad boy?"

Eli went crimson. "Clare, you are being ridiculous. Why would I be... crushing on Fitz?"

She laughed loudly. "You are so full of shit, Eli! You are blushing!"

"Shut up, Clare!" he said, breaking off from laughter.

After she stopped giggling hard enough to breathe, she said, "You should go talk to him, flirt a little."

"Clare, he's not even gay!"

She pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. "And you know that how, exactly? Because he was hitting on me at Vegas night? Eli, that was just to piss you off and you know it. For all you know, he could be gay..."

"Clare, I don't know..."

She gave him that you-know-you-want-to expression, and he sighed, getting up to go sit at the bar. Clare giggled as she watched the exchange from the sidelines.

**Eli's POV**

I can't believe that Clare is making me do this. But she really isn't _making_ me do this, since I kind of want to really bad.

"You lost?" Fitz said to me, looking me right in the eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I came to The Dot, right?" I responded, equally sarcastic.

He raised his eyebrows. "Good eye. So what do you want?"

"Can't I just have a conversation?"

He stopped what he was doing, looking intently at me. "Okay, I'll bite. I've already apologized to you and Clare for everything, so you must want something."

I widened my eyes, attempting to look innocent. "How about a truce? A vow of... let's call it friendship." I held out my hand for a handshake.

He took it and shook once, then retracted, leaving a small piece of paper in my hand. A tucked it into my wristband without giving it away.

"Friends." he said to me, giving a crooked smile. _Okay, that was hot._

I walked back over to sit with Clare.

"I do believe that Mr. Fitzgerald was flirting back. At least that's what it looked like from this angle," she said coyly.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She smiled. "Listen I've gotta get going. Thank you for being honest with me, Eli. Don't worry about me, because I'm fine."

"Thank you, Clare." We hugged briefly and she left. I followed behind her and walked back to the school parking lot to retrieve Morty. As soon as I sat down, I took out the paper that Fitz had given me. It read:

_You wanna be a flirt? Fine. At least do it properly through texting. Here's my number. Meet me after my shift is over behind The Dot. We need to talk. _

"Oh, shit," I said to the air. Thoughts flood my mind at this. Should I go? If I do, what if something happens? But that's crazy. Nothing's going to happen because I'm not gonna let anything happen.

"Eli, breathe," I said to myself. Without a second thought, I put Morty into gear and drove right back to The Dot. I got out and walked around to the back. I looked around, attempting to find him, but I didn't see him anywhere.

"Hey. You came."

I turned around to see Fitz walking down from the front door. I keep a rhythm of slow, steady breaths, trying to keep calm. "Yeah."

"Look, I need to tell you something."

I gulped. "What is it?"

He came so close that I could feel his breath on me. _Oh, God._

"About Vegas night, I was flirting with Clare to... to make you jealous."

I felt my stomach drop. "You're, um, gay?"

He laughed. "Surprised? So was I. I didn't even realize it until... until I met you."

I looked up at him. God, he was hot.

Suddenly, before I even knew what was happening, I was kissing Fitz, and he was kissing me. It had never felt this way with a girl, and I knew now that it never would. We were pressed against the back wall, kissing madly. Our tongues collided, and he pushed my blazer off and it hit the ground. We pushed closer together until we couldn't move any closer without melding together. From that point on, we eased into a bliss-filled make out session that felt so right compared to anything that I'd ever felt before.

**What do you think of my Eli/Fitz pairing? Should I stop? Do I need fluff? Please R&R!**


End file.
